I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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