ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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