youre lurking in front of me
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
