And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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