we're chasing vodka with high fives
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
