I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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