Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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