I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
