Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize