my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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