He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
