i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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