i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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