I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
