Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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