My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
