Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
