I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
