in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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