Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
