Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
