The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
