he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
