Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
