Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
