So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
