she was so not down for the gang bang
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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