fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My ass is underappreciated
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
