dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
