Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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