There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There r osticjed everywhere
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
