Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
