So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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