So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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