Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
