she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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