all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
