i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
