ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
if only i could text you this smell
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize