i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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