you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
