I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I wish you could order shots online.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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