I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
