called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
