If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
