Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
