Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We have so much sex to catch up on
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
