We need to rekindle our bromance
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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