In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
