normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
