Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
