Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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