I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
