Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
