He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
