i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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