I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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