Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
So. Much. Porn.
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