And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize