he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
