Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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